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Writer's pictureSimone De La Rue

Is Comparison The Thief Of Joy?

Did Theodore Roosevelt get it right?


We are now living in a world where we are constantly making comparisons. Viewing people’s seemingly perfect lives on social media and thinking I don’t look like that or have that affluence.


One thing I have learnt over the past 10 years is that it is all smoke and mirrors. It’s not often that someone will show you their worst day, or tell you the truth of their struggles. Instead they show the filtered version of their life.

Comparing yourself to others can detract from your own happiness. All it does is focus on what you don’t have or like about yourself or your life. It can make you feel worthless and demoralized, and ultimately you end up resenting others.

I do believe it is important to be inspired and motivated by others.

However, if you spend too much time comparing, you will end up wasting your own time and energy.

Here are some ways to stop comparing and focus on the positive things you have in your life.

  1. Focus on your own strengths: Celebrate all the things you do well rather than the things you do not. If you are a great painter, then frame that painting and place it on your wall for a daily reminder of your talent.

  2. Love who you are: Instead of fighting it, love and accept where you are in your life right now. Write down a list of all the things you love about yourself, place them somewhere where you can see them, say them out loud every morning.

  3. Practice gratitude: be thankful for what you do have. Make it a ritual every morning to sit in silence and visualize everything you do have. Your health, your family, your loved ones. Take note of how that makes you feel.

  4. Be your only competition: Compare yourself with you and only YOU. How can you be the best version of yourself? Set a goal. Perhaps that’s to do 100 push-ups every week, or cook a three course meal for your family. Set the goal and then celebrate when you achieve it.

  5. Do a social media detox: if there are people that you find triggering, then simply unfollow them. Or even better, detox from your device. Make a commitment to put your phone away for at least an hour each day, so you can focus on being present.


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